| Work is no fun... | |||
| 01:50pm 07/09/2009 | |||
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I wish I could be irresponsible. I wish I could just say fuck it all... And I could, I really could but there's that tiny voice of responsibility telling me that I really can't. I'm so in a 'whatever' mood. |
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 ..Cast A Spell...
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| Mhm... | ||||
| 05:41pm 04/03/2009 | ||||
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..Cast A Spell...
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| 04:20pm 20/04/2008 | |||
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Sometimes, it's not about love... You can put up a dam, but you can't stop the river from flowing. Life just doesn't work the way you want it to. |
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..Cast A Spell...
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| Boo... | ||||
| 10:03pm 19/02/2008 | ||||
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cranky| Yeah Right... | ||||
| 03:31pm 01/02/2008 | ||||
You might find it hard to accept the love that is being offered today as your romantic world is peppered with complex dilemmas. Sensual pleasure seems so straightforward, yet there's a price to pay if you set aside your long-term goals in favor of immediate satisfaction. Experiencing the spiritual side of your feelings and letting go of your personal agenda can make things easier. When you stop grasping for the correct answer, your path will become more obvious. I've stopped grasping for the answers a long time ago and yet, nothing still. Boo on that and boo on stupid not right nor clear horoscopes. I am sleepy, I'm sick of not sleeping and damnit, I don't want to work all fucking weekend. |
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..Cast A Spell...
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| LMFAO | ||||
| 10:11am 31/01/2008 | ||||
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..Cast A Spell...
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calm| Kindly Unspoken... | ||||
| 07:39pm 26/01/2008 | ||||
I blew off a little kid today and I actually feel bad about it. But in my defense; I worked almost 12 hours and it was all hell. Anyway, I have spent the last hour writing so yay me. I got on here with the intention of studying but my textbooks make me gag and I absolutely refuse to study on a Saturday. It's just unnatural, even in my 'OMG, I'm so boring now' stage. I am still not studying on a weekend. & Sadly, I'm still bored. I really think there's something wrong with me. I need a shrink, I think that's what I'm going to ask my mother for for my birthday. &I'm sleepy. I've had just an icky week or two, I can't sleep for shit. One morning I woke up and my mouth tasted like blood, the next morning it tasted like fire and this morning it was rain. Not that I know what any of those taste like but that's what it felt like. It is bizarre. I hate dreaming, I hate not remembering and I hate waking up & feeling like I didn't sleep at all. I also hate my head pounding itself into my skull. 'Cause really, ow! |
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..Cast A Spell...
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| Books! | ||||
| 07:12pm 01/01/2008 | ||||
I am also tired and cold & sick of being here. Boo. |
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..Cast A Spell...
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| . . . | ||||
| 12:22am 16/11/2007 | ||||
I had this massively long post, like pages and pages long and I accidentally lost it. (Sign much?) So now, really, I'm just gonna settle on my whole 'just so' zip. & I am sleepy. |
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..Cast A Spell...
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tired| Omnia mutantur, nos et mutamur in illis... | ||||
| 04:42pm 04/11/2007 | ||||
I feel like a broken record when I write in here (hence, the lack of writing) but over the last year & a half, so many things have changed. ... And stuff is still changing on me, it's no wonder I can't get 'Terra Firma'. (I bet I spelt that wrong. LoL.) Seriously though, last night I realised that some things never change and they probably won't ever change. Some things are just meant to stay exactly the same and sadly, that doesn't mean shit. The things that don't change have nothing to do with the things that have changed/will change. This morning on my lovely drive to work I realised that I hate my job and nothing about it makes me happy but I can't quit. Yes, it's hard and yes, I hate it but I hate it for stupid reasons; because it makes my nails look like shit, it makes me look like shit, it makes me tired *ALL* the bloody time, it's not girly and it's just too much drama/bullshit to deal with. But I will not quit because that would be irresponsible and childish. Oh yeah, my revelation from this morning was not just that I hate my job but I don't have a fucking clue who I am anymore. Last year, I would have quit in heartbeat and pouted at Paul. Or I would have gotten my happy ass fired because I can't keep my mouth shut and then begged Paul to give me my happy schedule back. But this girl won't do either... Which leads me back to I don't know myself anymore. I don't know who I am, who I was or who I want to be. One thing that I've always had was direction. It may have been flawed or too curvy at times but always, always had an idea of what I wanted, where I was going and where I was stand-stilling. I was okay with all that. Not so much anymore... I used to sit in front of my mirror and stare for the longest times, until I could find what I was looking for, until I could understand whatever it was that I wasn't getting but now, I don't even want to look in the mirror. I don't even think that I want to know myself anymore. & I also think I'm PMS-ing because it's the only time I get really, really mean or really fucking whiney and right now, I'm feeling both. If I break down in tears any day this week, I am calling off to sulk. & I'm cold and sleepy. & Wow, I am really random. &&& I so love this movie. "Take it, it's yours." |
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stressed| *yawns* | ||||
| 03:16pm 26/10/2007 | ||||
I've been mega productive and it's only 3 in the damn afternoon. I'm bored and sadly, I've nothing else to do or to finish. I guess it's back to being lazy; Watching Charmed and writing. BORING!!! I hate that my life is boring. I need some excitement, damnit. |
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..Cast A Spell...
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naughty| Grr. | ||||
| 09:18pm 19/10/2007 | ||||
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..Cast A Spell...
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annoyed| Life Lessons... | |||
| 05:35pm 18/10/2007 | |||
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Lesson One: Do not attempt to use spells to 'fix' yourself when you no longer believe in magic. Lesson Two: Do not throw shiney new phone against wall until you learn how much damage it can actually take. Lesson Three: Do not cry where someone can accidentally catch you. Lesson Four: Do not ask an ex to to spellcast your sorry ass into balance after your own attempt blows up, literally. Lesson Five: Tara's right. Just accept it. Truth screamed in hate is still truth. |
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| Oi. | ||||
| 08:04pm 01/09/2007 | ||||
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..Cast A Spell...
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| You've Gotta Want It... | ||||
| 06:50pm 13/08/2007 | ||||
Today, I woke up and I was fine. I'm still fine. Like, happy fine. It's odd. But I was productive & I think I'm finally finding some sort of 'flow'. Go me. |
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..Cast A Spell...
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amused| 07:02pm 28/06/2007 | ||||
I traded my weekend freedom for no reason, really. I took a nap 'cause I was dead tired and my head was pounding. I woke up wanting to write and now I'm watching some funky movie & blasting music over it which totally negates the idea of tv to begin with, debating if I want to swim, shower or shop. I can't believe that I have to work *all* weekend. Yucky. All those lovely tanning hours that are wasted to me. Boo on that. What was I thinking when I bargained this morning? I'm kinda hungry, I'm still sleepy and I've nothing interesting to say because my brain is busy elsewhere. |
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..Cast A Spell...
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bored| Wicked Much. | ||||
| 12:41pm 27/06/2007 | ||||
Boo. |
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..Cast A Spell...
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bouncy| I Hate Mornings... | ||||
| 05:56am 14/06/2007 | ||||
Three mails of my horoscope, trying to tell me something, much? I'm late for work, I feel like shit and I broke my watch because I forgot to take it off before I went into the pool yesterday. Today, I just want to go back to bed and not deal with anything. I really fucking hurt. |
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..Cast A Spell...
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| Flying Without a Broom... | ||||
| 06:54pm 03/06/2007 | ||||
I've four things wide open, bits & pieces of this & that, bits & pieces of me lying open and the most I've gotten done was a new CD for the car. My head is starting to hurt and I really don't wanna work tomorrow. Fun. I think I really am tired of being me right now. |
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..Cast A Spell...
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| 11:04pm 01/06/2007 | |||
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Ever feel like a goldfish caught in a small bowl with a slow leak...? I need to sleep & I can't. Lovely. |
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1 Bewitched Me... ..Cast A Spell...
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darkstarsrising |
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